So my counterpart, Lena, is kinda off her rocker.
I love her and she's awesome and she has a heart of gold and she takes care of me and takes care of business and I'm lucky to have her.
Look how she commands the attention of all those kindergartners! Except for the one dude in the middle, who's all "that wall is way more interesting than that lady up front," and the kid in the corner who's too busy flexing his biceps.
She does things like butt-dial me 17 time before 8:30 in the morning. And she walks up to men loitering around locales, gives them pamphlets (about breast cancer, or smoking, or sun poisoning), and tells them to "nuk jeni kot"" - stop being useless. And if people are fighting at the market she waddles into the midst of it and yells at everyone with a withering stare and the instigators all slink away. So, in a way, she's a total badass.
I mean, LOOK at that withering stare. I'd back off.
Who still happens to be slightly off her rocker.
She also has a joke that she's really fond of...and she should be. It's a play on words, but unfortunately it doesn't translate well to English. When introducing me, she says:
"Kjo është çupa ime amerikane me burrin amerikan."
Which translates differently depending on the audience:
Professional colleagues: "This is my American girl with the American boy (Kip, who's been around for 2 years and who most people know.)
Her friends: "This is my American daughter from my American husband." (cue middle-aged giggles)
Women with sons of marriageable age (aka, the dangerous kind of women): "This is my American girl, who already has a boyfriend/fiance/husband at home in America."
Either way, we always end up discussing my marital status.