Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Dita pa drita

The entire city was without power today until about 6:30 pm. No one had their espresso for the day, and perhaps I was imagining it but it seemed to me the city was in a bit of a haze all morning and afternoon. I went for a xhiro with Lena around 5 and she took me from lokale to lokale, searching for a place with a generator so she could have her coffee. She normally drinks kafe turk, which is made with a mini gas stove, but I think her desire for espresso was nothing more than a way to express grouchiness about the lack of power.

Earlier in the day, we were at another lokale (after a hard morning's work going stall to stall in the tregu i madhe (big market) advertising our breast cancer presentation on, really, not hard at all) and met up with other-Lena and a few more wizened old ladies. Somehow Berlusconi came up, and I made the comment that, "Berlusconi is an animal." And I got a high five from an eighty-year-old and that was the highlight of my day.

But now I'm plagued with the thought that we were actually talking about Berisha, the former prime minister here who just lost the election, and I messed the two names up (I didn't, I'm just paranoid). Which would make my comment a political statement, which Lena would love because she voted for Rama. And Moza would hate, because she voted for Berisha.

And Moza and Lena fight enough as it is!

Also, I just started Milan Kundera's The Unbearable Lightness of Being and I'm only on page 12 but I'm already tripping and having an existential crisis. I mean, come on:
"Let us therefore agree that the idea of eternal return implies a perspective from which things appear other than as we know them: they appear without the mitigating circumstance of their transitory nature. This mitigating circumstance prevents us from coming to a verdict. For how can we condemn something that is ephemeral, in transit? In the sunset of dissolution, everything is illuminated by the aura of nostalgia, even the guillotine."

"...not knowing what he wanted was actually quite natural. We can never know what to want, because, living only one life, we can neither compare it with our previous lives nor perfect it in our lives to come. There is no means of testing which decision is better, because there is no basis for comparison. We live everything as it comes, without warning, like an actor going on cold...What happens but once, says the German adage, might as well not have happened at all. If we have only one life to live, we might as well not have lived at all."

Like I said, existential crisis.

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