Saturday, August 2, 2014

Mistress of Mischief


Lena is on FIRE lately.

Most of it, on the surface, she seems to be entirely serious about. But after spending oodles of time with her for the past year, I've come to think a bit differently (one could almost say...indulgently). She's a hopeless troublemaker: most of the outrageous things she says and does is just to piss me (and others) off - and if you blink, you'll miss her gleeful little smirk. Here's a collection of her most recent gems:


Lena - "My mother gave birth to me in our barn."
Mary (dubiously) - "Really? Like Jesus?"
Lena - "YES. LIKE JESUS. I WAS BORN LIKE JESUS."
And then she spent the rest of the day telling everyone to get out of her way because I told her she was Jesus.

Lena (walking down the street and singing a popular tune, Kafe Pa Sheqer [Coffee Sans Sugar]) - "Kafe kafe pa sheqeeeerrrrr, kafe kafe kafe kafe, Kofi Kofi Kofi Kofi, Kofi Annan Kofi Annan-"
Mary - "...wait, what? Kofi Annan? From the UN?"
Lean (imperiously) - "Of course. Kofi Annan Kofi Annan...*starts drumming on my binder with pencils*...PLAY IN MY ORCHESTRA! Kofi Annan Kofi Annan..."

(I'm in Tirana for a Peace Corps thing. Lena knows I'm in Tirana for a Peace Corps thing. She keeps calling.)
Mary - "Hey, Lena, you know I'm in Tirana for-"
Lena - "BUY ME A TELEBINGO."
Mary - "What?"
Lena - "TELEBINGO. TELE. BINGO. You have magic fingers, pick some good (lottery) numbers."
Mary - "Umm, okay, but-"
Lena - "Also, when are you getting back? Bye!" *click*

Lena (on my return from Italy) - "WHAT DID YOU BUY ME IN ITALY."
Mary (sheepishly) - "Umm, nothing? Sorry, I didn't have any space and everything is so expens-"
Lena - "I like your sunglasses. Are they from Italy? Why didn't you get me any? How much where they?"
Mary - "10 euro, I didn't think-"
Lena - "OUR FRIENDSHIP ISN'T WORTH 10 EURO TO YOU?"
Mary - "Seriously?"
Lena - "Give them to me."
Mary - "No. But you can wear them and I'll take a picture and send it to my family."


 Like a boss.

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