Sunday, October 12, 2014

I am so...


...HOMESICK. I am so so so homesick. Between all these summer travel posts that I'm publishing so tardily (how's that for an awkward adverb?), I would be remiss if I let anyone think my life has evolved into some money-spending, fun-having, world-traveling joy-fest. Because let me tell you, it's not.

Not that it's bad. It's great - I'm in the Peace Corps, I have internet and running water, I'm healthy. And yes, I get to travel and see new places and meet new people and generally enjoy my life. But that's not enough for me, apparently.

I want to hang out at UW's Memorial Union under the giant oak tree and watch the sailing team take the boats out for a final spin. I want to walk in Devil's Lake State Park and collect vibrant red maple leaves that will eventually turn into autumn fairy dust at the bottom of my backpack. I want to wake up and go to the farmer's market and get coffee at the head of State Street to warm our hands in the early morning chill before we get some hot spicy cheese bread and sprinkled donuts.

I want I want I want.

I want to go for a bike ride around Lake Monona. I want to go to a Badger football game and sing Varsity and eat brats and do the wave in Camp Randall. I want to go to Blackhawk for church and meet my friends beforehand at the coffee station and stock up on caffeine before service.

I want I want I want.

I want to curl up with my little sister and talk about life and fall asleep scrunched together in her little twin bed. I want to go to the Quandt farm and hang out in the barn and harvest pumpkins. I want to watch Young Frankenstein with my dad and wheedle a shoulder rub out of it.

I just really, really want to hug my mom.

Peace Corps is hard. I still have six and a half months to go, and it's getting harder and harder to focus on the now - my future may not be Albania, but my present is, and it still deserves my best. Even if, today, my best is verbal-vomiting my feelings on the internet because for some reason it's easier than actually reaching out to those who love me, both here and at home.

2 comments:

  1. Sprinkled doughnut AND cheese bread!!! Count me in!! Oh Mary, we miss you too!! Don't forget that :) Can we go Starbucks hopping again, too? Ooo, and I am craving some ginger snap cookies! I miss youuuu!!! <3 So many adventures to be had when you come back! Enjoy what time you have left there! I'm sure it'll fly by!

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  2. That made me a little homesick! Miss you Mary. Sending hugs.

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